Thoughts over a plate of sushi

Sake And Tekka Maki
Sake And Tekka Maki,
originally uploaded by drp.

Today begins my fattening up before Lent. And the best way to treat oneself is by going out for sushi. I sat at the sushi bar, and the best things about sitting at the sushi bar are (1) sometimes, the sushi chefs will give you freebies, since the sushi bar people end up last in the queue compared to table orders. (2) if the sushi chefs are not busy, they'll set you up a few pieces at a time, and you can eat em as they make em. (3) You can watch your sushi being made. (4) You can get tips from the sushi chefs about what's fresh. (5) You can eat alone at the sushi bar and no one will think twice.

My mom sent me an article from Time about Twixters, those lovable 20 somethings that are still trying to find themselves while eating their parents out of house and home. They call this a phenomenon. I call this my friends. I'm not really a Twixter. I pay my own rent, have a job that pays the bills, but as far as marriage and children, well, let's just say that it's not for lack of trying.

So I was reading this article about Twixters while munching on a superb piece of yellowtail and I thought my phone went off, and I instinctively went for it. Silly me. I changed the phone number. No one's gonna call me because most of the world doesn't even know my new number.

And that made me realize two sad things: (1) I don't get many phone calls. (2) Changing my phone number feels like I closed the door on a chapter of my life. It's like I finally signed and sealed my med school life and now it's the grown up world. It feels uncomfortable and abrasive. It's not as fun as I thought it'd be. There's a lot of serious stuff in the real world and it scares the bejeezus out of me, and I miss med school.

Really, I miss the irresponsibility of my former life. I miss the lack of accountability and the lackadaisical attitude towards life. I was so invincible. I was fearless, because there were no consequences. Now everything is so damned serious and life is so cruel. My phone, I bought it while I was moving out of my house and driving to my new apartment and residency life. It still had the taint of med school, and now I've washed it clean.

And I know this is ENTIRELY irrational. I can read F's blog and remember how that stupid town just ate at my very soul. I hated being there, but now that it's in the rear view mirror, I can't help but get nostalgic. God help me, I miss it.

At least the yellowtail was exquisitely fresh. There's nothing quite like sushi to make you forget that your life didn't turn out quite as you planned.

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