Today was not a good day

I feel like shit today. I guess I wasn't feeling all that great yesterday either, but I didn't think I was this bad. I couldn't eat today. I ate an apple, a granola bar, a cup of OJ, and a handful of chips (~900 kcal). My workout was sorry. But you can only do so much after not working out for 4 weeks.

I wish I could say that there was some precipitating event, something that set me off, but I just woke up feeling shitty today. My light therapy seems to not be doing the trick anymore. And all I can think is that I've still got 3 more weeks before the winter solstice. If this really is seasonal affective disorder, then it's certainly the worst I've had yet, and I still have all of winter to go. I wish at least these bouts of depression had some sort of predictability. I wish there was some rhyme or reason to it. I wish I could make sense of it.

So I think I'm just going to call it quits early tonight. Yes, I realize that 7PM is a pretty early hour to turn in, but maybe I'll feel a little better after some sleep. Maybe I'll get hungry and wake up and eat something. I really don't want to have to start forcing myself to eat again.

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