After doing child psych, I was really conflicted. I loved working in the child and adolescent service, but it was so hard. Everyday, I'd come home emotionally drained. Eventually, I decided that I couldn't do child psych, because it got me so angry every day, so frustrated because most of the kids are the way they are because their parents abused them or mistreated them. It was emotionally too much, but I never wanted to be cold to that sort of human suffering. So in the end, child psych was not for me. But it was nothing but fun being on a rotation with M.
Then, OB/Gyn! It started off hellish, but after 4 weeks slaving through surgeries and countless pap and pelvics, I found out that I actually really like OB/Gyn. And I could never do it. Half the women told me to my face they'd never see a male OB/Gyn, and with malpractice costs it'd be a terrible idea. But if I was a woman, I'd do OB/Gyn in a minute.
Second Quarter
For Spring Break, I stayed in town and did nothing. I tried to upgrade my computer, but I ended up wasting a lot of money. Started surgery, and I really enjoyed working in the ER. I called a laundry list of people for the Baskin Robbins free scoop night and only managed to get two people. For free ice cream. How pitiful is that? Went to the museum with F to the museum, then Hooter's afterwards!
Started surgery with M! We were like ill-behaved children. It was the most fun I've had on a rotation in a long time. Then, vascular kicked my ass, and I have to say that no human should have to do that. Memorial Day came and went, and I did not have a date in the meantime. But at least I got to grill. I got drunk, again, in R's basement.
Third Quarter
I worked on my golf swing at the range, only to determine that I suck. Went on a canoe trip and ended up in the ER. My laundry sock streak ended. In the past 4 years, I've only lost 2 socks. The AC broke and we were very warm for a while. Went to the museum with I and R, and sushi! I started climbing again, after a 12 year hiatus. Bought gear, a Nalgene bottle, the works. Learned that I can apply a coat of Rain-X to a front windshield in about 3 minutes.
I went on several trips to look at knives, egged on by F. I finally broke down in December and bought a set of Henckels. I frequented the sauna for a month or two. I found out that my aunt has terminal cancer. I started getting into punk and emo music. I had the damnedest time writing my personal statement, which went through 3 revisions before coming out in its limp form. I had my standard Labor Day grillfest, with the standards in attendance. I spent two months trying to find a decent bowl of naeng-myun. I picked up a new laptop thanks to my old computer's uncanny ability to cease working. And I tried to quit smoking again, and I failed, again. I did go for 5 weeks without, but in the end, I broke down. And in September, I began my quest for apple cider. I changed my haircut, who's to say if that's for the better or worse, or if anyone even noticed. And I came upon the realization, as September came to a close, that I might have Seasonal Affective disorder.
Fourth Quarter
I went to a concert with D, I started cardiology, I bought canvas tote bags, because somewhere along the way, I picked up some eco-nerd into my persona. I discovered Starbucks, only to discover that I prefer a different local coffee house. It IS true then. Starbucks really is good for independent coffee houses by increasing the prospective market. I had my whole big deal about bill splitting, to the point where I treated about $400 worth of meals this year. I bought a new PDA because my old Handspring (wrought with all sorts of problems to begin with) shattered.
I tried to get drunk on Halloween to wash away my troubles, and I failed, and I ended up so depressed the following weekend that I formulated a plan to kill myself, and the only reason I didn't follow through was a pack of cigarettes and a holy day of obligation. In retrospect, I should've gone to the ER and had myself committed. I stopped eating for quite a while, and I lost around 15 lbs as a result. I found that I can actually starve myself down to 1000 kcal a day. I had to force myself to eat. My brake lines went out. Thankfully, I wasn't suicidal at the time. After several long talks with a few close friends, I managed to pull myself from the edge. I am pretty sure now that some component of this is seasonal affective disorder.
I took Step 2, and passed. I swore off drinking to get drunk. Never again. I made the switch from briefs to boxers. I went to visit my dying aunt. I came to the realization that when I climb with R, I always injure myself, and when I climb with I, I always strain something or work something till it's sore. I went with I and R to Thanksgiving at R's, which was the most educational Thanksgiving ever. Me and I had a slumber party. I was talking to some friends and telling them that according to her, I snore like a little boy. Then, silence. It took me 5 minutes to realize the obvious next question: why does she know how you snore? My aunt died. I feel happy about it, and I feel guilty for being happy. Happy that her suffering's over, but how could I feel right hoping that she would die sooner.
I started Neurology. I got to see so much of my college friends, they're such a welcome sight. I saw Handel's Messiah with D, which was an excellent performance. I ruined a sweater. I rediscovered the art of being a gentleman. I wrote a million Christmas cards. I got some touching cards in return. I went South for Christmas and that's pretty much a wrap on the year.
No comments:
Post a Comment