You must want to do general medicine

I was talking with one of my attendings about the hospital and how I really don't like inpatient service. It sucks. I hate taking care of people in the hospital. I'd much rather see them in the clinic. In the clinic, I can shuffle things around and do what I like. It's more social. It's more casual. Her reply to me: you must want to go general medicine. No one else likes clinic. Heh, she's right.

I was talking to a medical student today, and somewhat fondly remembering the... fun that was 3rd year. There's something quite adventurous about trying to figure out what you're going to do with the rest of your life. I mean, it's really quite exciting. Now that I'm heading down the path of locked into a career, my life just doesn't seem nearly as exciting. But on the plus side, I actually worked harder during med school than I am now.

Scent of a woman

I saw the movie Scent of a Woman on TV tonight while I was getting ready for bed. It's a really nice movie, because it's a world that I know. Y'know, unless you've lived it, it's hard to imagine a prim and proper world, governed by etiquette and class. It's hard to imagine because it really doesn't exist in reality. It's a collective fiction.

Still, it's nice to see. I miss it sometimes, the formality and the grace. The funny stuff is what gets you sometimes. I was going to church the other day and this little boy ran ahead of his family and held the door for them, and for me. I couldn't help but think that this little tyke was well on his way.

People think nothing of etiquette, and I can't say I blame them, but I think that it's a little sad that it's hard to find a decent handshake anywhere in the Midwest, and that common courtesy seems like a thing of the past. Someone sneezes and I'm the only one who says God bless. Someone cries and I'm the only one to offer a tissue. It's attention to detail. Life, like etiquette, is a matter of attention to detail.

Post call days are guilt free

General Tso's,
originally uploaded by ifinding.

So, after a luscious breakfast, a morning of cartoons, lunch at Wendy's, and a well-deserved nap, I decided that this, my post-call day off (a technical 24 hours outside of the hospital), would best be spent eating take out Chinese and watching "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle." If you've never seen the movie, it's amusing, and also, a window into the world of 2nd gen Asian-Americans. I was happy that this movie got made, because it is to my knowledge the first big budget, non-martial arts/john wu movie that headlined with Asian actors.

We have a little saying in the hospital. Post call days are guilt free. You can't feel bad about anything post-call, because your life sucks enough after spending anywhere from 24 to 30 hours in the hospital.

I'm getting used to blogger, and I'm starting to like it. Maybe I'll stick with this, although flickr is a little... difficult to use.

Tough love in the hospital

You want to know the worst thing you can hear coming out of the mouth of your evaluator? "Well, you seem to do a good job of sleeping through conferences." Panic, panic, panic.

I was outright mean for the last couple days, tough love in the hospital. I mean really, I'm growing more and more intolerant of people that don't have the simple desire to get better. What am I supposed to do for someone who is unwilling to take care of himself? It's rediculous. I spend my mornings telling myself DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT THE PATIENT! That's my morning.

So it's been tough love, things like cutting people off from pain meds, kicking folks out of the hospital, stuff like that. And believe me, people are not happy. I've had folks from every end of the hospital giving me a piece of their mind. I remember sometimes that my mom told me that I should be the kind of doctor who is nice and kind and shouldn't be mean, but man, sometimes, mean is what people need. Nice is for pediatricians. I think mean is something valuable to an internist.

Tops were that I've been threatened with litigation a whole bunch of times now. It's to the point where I can't even get worked up about it. I mean, when you know that you didn't do anything wrong, it's hard to get too angry, but man, I'm sick of it. I have a new saying these days: "the sign on the building, it doesn't say 'hotel' does it."

PS - Are you liking this format better than the old way? I also got a flickr account so that we could get the full effect of switching over.

My muse

Zoo coke machines,
originally uploaded by ifinding.

A lot of people have... photography themes. You know, they photo document a theme. For a long time, it really bothered me that I, a self-professed amateur photographer who went digital before it was cool, couldn't think of anything to photo document. It was aggravating. Then, I sort of settled on this idea: vending machines. I do have a sort of unholy fascination with them. So, I thought I'd include this cute picture of a coke vending machine at the zoo. But I haven't really followed through with this, as I don't take pictures of anything these days, calling into question my need for a new d-cam.