Reading over my old blog, I was so much more... open. It wasn't all so heavy handed. Sorry about that. I'll try to do better.
I had a moment today, something that I thought I was past. Y'know, it's weird when you suddenly think of someone. I was thinking of this one girl, and I'd been carrying a torch for her for... well... years really. And part of moving somewhere that I only had a few friends around meant washing myself of all the little shit that I've accumulated in my life.
And suddenly today, I found myself thinking the strangest thoughts, like wondering what she was doing right then, or Googling her, or doing little shit like that. And it's like falling in a hole that's been cordoned off with police tape. It's just stupid.
Because if she came up to me today and confessed her undying love, I'd say no. No because she rejected me. No because she never thought of me. No because she was not there. No because she's not the person I dreamed that she might be. No because my heart deserves better than table scraps.
And I carry a torch for no one now, because no one ever did for me.