You know that perhaps you take apple cider a little too seriously when you convince yourself that you can taste the difference between regular apple cider and UV irradiated apple cider. I purchased some good old fashioned apple cider and was pleasantly rewarded. It should go without saying that you're drinking unpasteurized apple cider. The pasteurization process essentially kills the natural taste and body of apple cider. I'm talking fresh out of the press. The lack of pasteurization is a bit of a roll of the dice. It comes with the knowledge that there are risks involved. However, I have yet to meet someone that orders filet mignon well done. If you're going to play everything safe, you might as well do nothing at all.
I also managed to eat some Korean food. It's been forever. It felt so good to be eating Korean again, it's like something that I put aside and now rediscovered. I wish I cold eat Korean food every day, but I can't. My stomach and my budget can't take it. Well, actually, I guess when I'm a doctor, there's nothing stopping me from eating out every night, which I may as well do, since my social life is on such a roll. And by roll, I mean roll down a steep hill with a cliff at the end. Especially since I have entirely given up. I mean, before, I at least had some hope. You know, the kind of 'Oh maybe someday' sort of stuff. I'm just out of it now. I've conceded. I'm trying to decide if it's a valid idea to waste all your money on frivolous things if you don't have a wife or kids. I mean, what would I be saving up for, other than retirement? Nothing. So, let's blow it all. As soon as I'm out of residency, I'm going to live like a king.
I really want a cigarette, but I'm being good. I'm telling myself that a cigarette won't make my life any better. It won't bring meaning or fulfillment. It won't solve my problems. However, there's always a little voice in my head arguing the point: it'll make my life shorter though. And well, that little voice has got some pretty good logic. People congratulate me on quitting smoking. What congratulations? I quit because I thought maybe it would make a difference in my life. And it has. Now, my life expectancy is inching upwards, while my life goals get pitched one by one out the window.
In the end, I get the feeling that I took a wrong turn somewhere, and it's far too late to turn around and double back. And I'm not doing such a hot job finding my way back on track. So maybe this is going to be one hell of a long and boring drive ahead of me.
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