I saw some people that I haven't seen since high school, and it was a little bizarre, and very uncomfortable. All that growth and personal discovery and becoming a man stuff, that all seemed to go in the shitter, and I felt like a pimply teenager again, with all the same uncertainties, fears...
And it's hard not to think about how it seems like everyone I know from back then has had so much personal growth. They're married, they have kids, they own homes and have jobs and all that stuff, and it seems like I've sacrificed so much going the route that I did.
And yes, I've got a BS. Yes, I've got an MD. Yes, I'm in residency and looking at a future in internal medicine. There's no way that I can deny that I am an adult, through and through.
A few years back, I met up with a girl whom I had not seen in nearly a decade. It was like old times, and we reminisced. We felt young again for a few hours, but all those feelings that I had for her back then, a silly, little crush that smoldered for ten years, those feelings hurt, and I felt miserable rather than happy.
Seeing all these people from my past, it ends up being a little painful, seeing all the things in my life that I've passed up.