I've kept this blog up for several years, despite the fact that I haven't posted in years. I keep thinking to myself that I'm going to come back to this and start writing again, but I don't have the stomach or energy for it.
It's a lot of things. It's the changing landscape of medicine. I wrote the whole "Don't be a doctor" series about some of the hidden pitfalls of a career in medicine, but those pitfalls have fallen to the wayside of tremendous market forces driven by decreasing reimbursement, legislative interference, private equity, and a host of other factors that have made the career less than appetizing.
It's also the loss of professional identity. Somewhere around 10-15 years ago, people stopped being doctors and started being people who practice medicine. The thing about being a doctor is that it's part of who you are, not just letters after your name. It changed into something less-than. People cared more about work-life balance and less about the words that were spoken in a sacred oath during graduation.
Sure, COVID also sucked. I think all of us who were practicing medicine at the time walked away with a healthy dose of PTSD. I distinctly remember the day in May that I did my first inpatient shift in 2020 during the pandemic, and I said to myself walking into the hospital, "If I die, then it's from being a doctor, and I can't be angry about that."
But overall, I think that I just am not the person I was when I started this blog. My colleagues would laugh at that statement, as I am still the most indignant and insufferably self-righteous person they know, but I decided a few years back to give myself some grace, that not every battle is worth fighting. Odd words from the man who would die on every single hill in front of him.
Maybe I'll come back one day. Maybe I'll turn to Medium or Threads or some other more modern format. The blog at the end of the day is such an archaic format. I started this like 20 years ago. It's a different world now.
Thanks to all of those who read these posts and found them helpful. I'm glad that some folks found value here. I'll leave it up, if only to defend my copyright, but at least right now, I've no plans to come back to blogging.
If you're sad about that, don't be. I still go on long and painful tirades on social media, but all my socials are private. My blathering is now reserved for friends and family.
