Indignation

There are some days where you discover what kind of doctor you are, and then some days where you discover what kind of person you are. I saw someone else's patient in the clinic for a sick visit, and her chart was a mess. Her medications were jumbled and erratic. Her diagnosis list was cluttered and with multiple duplicates. She had labs and diagnostic tests that were not reviewed. I managed to get a few things straightened out, her chronic medications sorted, and hopefully, she will do fine, but it's hard not to feel a little indignant.

In reality, what does indignation get you? Nothing. That smug feeling of self-satisfaction and superiority, it is comforting in the moment, but it does not give the patient a better outcome. It doesn't lower A1c. There is pride in your work, and it's good to have a sense of ownership and pride in what you do, but indignation? It is worth the paper it's written on.

There is always someone who will do a better job, and someone who will do worse. That never changes. Wanting to do better is great, but being better because you've pushed everyone else down doesn't actually improve anything.