Prom was for losers anyway, speaks the voice of bitterness

For the first time in two years, a friend has achieved a level of correspondence deserving of a personal folder in my file cabinet. Only twelve others have achieved such a distinction, but paradoxically, I am out of contact with seven of those twelve. So, maybe this is a bad thing. I read through my favorite Christmas card ever, from a girl I used to know. She's got a special place in my heart because she was the only girl ever to actively pursue me. And for that, she gets all the props in the world.

I realized that I've never been invited to a white tie affair. Now, I've been invited to plenty of black tie events, but never white tie. Well, I've never actually been to a black tie event, but I've been invited. D was confused when I mentioned this. Y'know, formal events like the prom or other dances. I repeated my statement. I've never been to a black tie event.

I'm not sure if it's weird that I didn't go to prom. It was pretty much the most unappealing idea in high school. I hated my school. I hated all the popular kids in the school. I had no date. And going stag was akin to social suicide. And then, dancing? *shudder*.

Y'know, I spent so much of my life watching from the sidelines. I've watched other people get where they want in life, and I keep wondering when I get to start. Y'know, I'm not sure how many more weddings I can really attend and still care. I wish that for once, it was my turn. But it's not, and it won't be, especially since I've adopted my little laissez-faire policy on dating.

So whatever. I've conceded defeat in this stupid town. I've come upon the sad realization that I'm not going to find what I'm looking for in this city, or state, and I really should have pursued the coasts more vigorously. At least on the coasts, I've got a fighting chance. This whole Midwest thing, it's like living in a big tub of vanilla. And that's fine, if you're vanilla. But it's nothing but trouble if you're a praline.